Discovery
by Cravenheart
Summary: Remus discovers he is in love with sirius, but there is no way that his feelings will ever be returned, is there?


The wolf was trying to tell him something. Remus had no idea why, but he knew he would not want to hear it, and as long as he could put it off he would. James and Sirius had only just discovered his 'furry little problem' as they called it, and he didn't think now would be the best time to let the wolf run riot through his mind. 'Who you thinking about Remmy? Your looking very serious. Finally found a girl?' Sirius asked chirpily. As he turned his hair caught the light, momentarily dazzling Remus. He smiled. 'No... not yet.' Remus replied. Sirius always asked him, despite the fact that he always got the same answer. 'Hmm. Well you should do, half the girls here are after you.' Sirius said, smirking. Remus sighed. He knew it was true, a lot of the girls did like him, that wasn't the problem. Of all the girls in Hogwarts, Remus had never felt anything but friendship for a single one. It wasn't that he didn't find them attractive, he cold see why James liked lily- she was very pretty- he just didn't ever feel a spark. With Sirius however, there was something strange. Not that there was any point in thinking about it again. Sirius was beautiful, rebellious, funny and undeniably straight. There was nothing in Sirius's behaviour to suggest anything more than brotherly love for Remus, and he always had a girl hanging around him. Anyway, Remus wasn't gay, and it was probably perfectly normal to think Sirius was beautiful, most people did.

'Remus what is on you mind? You were far away for that entire lesson. You like potions, god knows why, but you _always_ listen.' Sirius said accusingly as they wandered out of the potions hall. Remus blushed heavily. 'Nothing, just thinking about the full moon, its tomorrow you know... wolfs getting ready.' he muttered quickly. Sirius raised an eyebrow. 'I will make you tell me soon Remmy...'he said darkly. Remus laughed. He didn't say that it was not something Sirius would like to hear. The wolf surged inside his brain again, struggling to get free. It was always harder to control when Sirius was there. ''Remember that tomorrow I want it to be just me and wolf Siri. No turning up this time, okay? He wants to tell me something and i think its important. Promise you wont come?' Remus saidOkay moony.. But i really don't understand why you don't want us there, you can trust us. You said it made you feel better last time...' siris replied, looking sceptical.'Just please don't come Sirius. It doesn't matter why... I just don't want you there.' Remus said. Sirius nodded, looking a little hurt. 'Alright. But I will be in the hospital wing in the morning. I just don't like the thought of you having to go through it on your own...' He said. Remus smiled to himself. Sirius really was a wonderful friend, despite appearances.

'Look, James is trying it on with Lil again. He really wont take no for an answer will he?' giggled 'll wear her down some day, poor girl' Sirius replied, flashing Remus a perfect smile. Butterflies attacked Remus's insides, ripping through his stomach lining and fluttering bloodily around his rib cage. What was wrong with him? It must just be the full moon... he couldn't possibly like his best friend, could he?

'We should go and save lily, he's making a real idiot out of himself this time' Sirius said. Remus tore his eyes away from his friend and saw that James was desperately trying to change lily's books back into books- she held in her arms a pile of dandelions. 'Your _ridiculous _potter.' she said angrily. 'Lily..._shit_...sorry...it was meant to be roses, i thought i could do it, i mean what do they make these spells for if they don't even **work**?' he whined, thrusting his wand into his pocket angrily. 'Let me fix it' Sirius said, bounding over and pulling out his wand. Lily opened her mouth to protest, but before she could Sirius had changed the flowers back into books. 'Thank-you.' she said, glaring at James.

'We should go back to the common room its getting late' Remus suggested. James nodded, looking relived at being spared another moment of embarrassment, and the four students began to make there way toward the Griffindoor tower. 'Have you done your transfiguration essay yet Remus?' lily asked pleasantly. Sirius looked raised his eyebrows suggestively at Remus. He was under the ridiculous impression that lily liked him, just because she talked to him more than the others. 'Not yet, I ought to do it when we get back, I cant do it tomorrow, its full mo-I mean, im busy.' Remus said. He often forgot that lily didn't know, it seemed wrong to lie to her. 'I guess there's no point in asking either of you if you've done any work at all is there?' lily said glancing disdainfully at Sirius and James, who were currently throwing huge lumps of cut grass at each other. James stopped abruptly when he heard Lilys voice, large green eyes meeting Lilys steely glare hopefully. There was something in the way he looked at her that made Remus's stomach flip. He recognised the longing James felt when he looked at her. If only he could decide who he felt it for...

'Well that's...good' lily said uncertainly. The way James was with her was always surprising. Sirius snorted 'were you feeling ill that night Jamie?' he said. James's face reddened. ' No!' he mumbled. It was difficult, trying to impress two people at once. Sirius laughed 'sorry Jamie. Just joking.' he said, ruffling James's hair. The affection clearly spread across Sirius's face filled Remus with jealousy. Did he ever look at him like that? He thought not.

The common room was warm and cosy, the fire still burning slowly though everyone else had already gone to bed. Remus sighed gently and put his pen down. 'That's enough for tonight, time to sleep' he whispered to himself. He wandered over to the door of the boys dorm. It sounded like everyone was already asleep- he could hear peter muttering to himself. He crept quietly past James's bed, nearly tripping over the clothes strewn around it. He glanced around the room to make sure no one was awake, then pulled back the curtains to Sirius's bed.

Sirius was curled under the cover, as he always was. All that Remus could see of him was a mass of long black hair covering his face. The temptation to reach out and touch him was almost unmanageable, but Sirius was a light sleeper and would probably not take too kindly to being woken in the middle of the night. 'Goodnight Sirius...' Remus whispered, closing the curtains and stumbling over to his own bed. 'Goodnight Remus' Sirius mumbled too quietly for anyone to hear. Remus covered his face with the blanket. Tomorrow would be a difficult day.


End file.
